{"id":676,"date":"2019-03-31T18:37:15","date_gmt":"2019-03-31T23:37:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bhakticlinic.com\/blog\/?p=676"},"modified":"2019-03-31T18:37:15","modified_gmt":"2019-03-31T23:37:15","slug":"resilience-how-to-flourish-in-difficult-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/bhakticlinic.com\/blog\/resilience-how-to-flourish-in-difficult-times\/","title":{"rendered":"Resilience: How to Flourish in Difficult Times"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201cBetween a stimulus and a response there is a space.\u00a0 In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.\u00a0 The last of human freedoms is to choose one\u2019s attitude in any given set of circumstances.\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

—Victor Frankl, psychoanalyst and concentration camp survivor<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

In the past few weeks I have heard numerous people say that they feel beat up and battered by the winter we have just journeyed through.\u00a0 And, I must admit, that in recent weeks I\u2019ve been thinking that very same thing.\u00a0 And, as the days are getting warmer, bringing the promise of some respite from the cold and heaps of snow and checker board of potholes, I find myself pondering the miracle of the resilience <\/em><\/strong>I\u2019ve been witnessing.\u00a0 Smiles on the faces of people passing by as we walk \u2013 taking in the fresh air; feeling the warmth of the sun; smelling the moist melting earth; hearing the light, hopeful sounding songs of chirping of birds; seeing the beginnings of a plant sheepishly poking out of the soil; sensing an inner joy rooted in an awareness of Strength.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Oxford Dictionary defines resilience as \u201cthe ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0 Inherent within our human condition is this capacity to be resilient.\u00a0 And, although there are many circumstances that can impair our ability to tap into this innate capacity to recover from difficulties, research also suggests that we can employ strategies to help us recover and strengthen that resilience.\u00a0\u00a0 And, when we practice these strategies we are actively engaging in the process of neuroplasticity \u2013 the process of growing new neurons, developing new and permanent neural networks of habit and memory.\u00a0 Linda Graham, a psychotherapist and author, talks about four components of resilience: wisdom, courage, patience and perseverance.\u00a0 Below I share with you some of my thoughts about how to utilize each of them to recover and\/or to strengthen your own resilience.<\/p>\n

Wisdom<\/strong><\/p>\n

Like a long, cold, brutal winter life can be hard.\u00a0 It requires you to be your own sage, to draw on the astute insight you have within.\u00a0 This insight, your sage advice, inevitably will invite you to just accept the truth that life is hard, to roll with the punches and to be flexible in your responses to the difficulties life presents.\u00a0 This is what we call response flexibility<\/strong>.\u00a0 It refers to the practice of putting some mental space between a stimulus (event, circumstance, difficulty, etc.) and your response to it. \u00a0Take time to become aware of how you respond to those life difficulties and recognize how your response impacts you in the present moment.\u00a0 Give yourself the freedom to choose how you will respond rather than just reactively responding.\u00a0 Viktor Frankl put it this way, \u201cIn our response lies our growth and freedom\u201d.\u00a0 This doesn\u2019t suggest that you adopt a Pollyannaish way of thinking about things.\u00a0 Rather, it suggests holding an attitude both of acceptance that life can be hard and that you can bounce back.<\/p>\n

Courage<\/strong><\/p>\n

When life throws us some difficult punches it\u2019s natural to flinch and to want to avoid the pain and discomfort that results.\u00a0 This can feel relieving in the moment, in the short-term.\u00a0 But, in the long run avoidance intensifies the negative impact of the difficulty \u2013 it can create longstanding neural networks that stifle your innate resilience.\u00a0 My suggestion: lean into the discomfort \u2013 feel it, know it, seek to understand it.\u00a0 And in doing so, you will begin the process of transforming how your system responds to it \u2013 choosing the route, rather than just going along for the ride!<\/p>\n

Patience<\/strong><\/p>\n

The undertaking of rediscovering your resilient capacities and of building new neural pathways takes time.\u00a0 It takes active work and it won\u2019t happen overnight.\u00a0 So, best to be patient with yourself.\u00a0 Hold yourself with a kind and gentle heart – with the understanding that you are, like the rest of us, progressing on your journey one moment at a time.\u00a0 It reminds me of the perennials in my backyard that day by day, season by season weather many difficulties and in doing so develop stronger roots and continue to grow and flourish.<\/p>\n

Perserverance<\/strong><\/p>\n

Rediscovering, rebuilding and enhancing your innate resilience takes work.\u00a0 And, let\u2019s face it, work is work \u2013 you have to practice, to keep at it despite delays and roadblocks and despite how difficult it may be.\u00a0 So, dig in, commit to your work, nurture yourself as you journey through, and allow yourself to seek support along the way.\u00a0 Your resilience is yours for the claiming!<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\u201cI can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.\u201d\u00a0 —<\/em>Maya Angelou<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"Fran Bieganek is a Licensed Psychologist practicing holistic psychotherapy and neurofeedback at Bhakti Wellness Center.\u00a0 She has been practicing for over 20 years and currently specializes in the areas of trauma, anxiety, depression, grief and loss, stress management, developmental transitions and well-being.\u00a0 She works with both individuals and couples.\u00a0 In addition to her therapy practice she has also taught Psychology courses at several colleges in Minnesota.\u00a0 She is currently accepting new clients and can be reached at 612-564-9947 or by emailing her at: franbieganekmslp@gmail.com.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cBetween a stimulus and a response there is a space.\u00a0 In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.\u00a0 The last of human freedoms is to choose one\u2019s attitude in any given set of circumstances.\u201d\u00a0 \u00a0 —Victor Frankl, psychoanalyst and concentration camp survivor In the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-676","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-wellness"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/bhakticlinic.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/676","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/bhakticlinic.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/bhakticlinic.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bhakticlinic.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bhakticlinic.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=676"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/bhakticlinic.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/676\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":682,"href":"http:\/\/bhakticlinic.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/676\/revisions\/682"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/bhakticlinic.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=676"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bhakticlinic.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=676"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/bhakticlinic.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=676"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}